Turn Your Spouse and Family From Obstacles Into Your Biggest Supporters
Whether you’re making improvements to eat better or exercise consistently, these are tough enough to stick-to on your own. So you turn to your spouse for support but are surprised (and disappointed and hurt) that he/she isn’t rallying to help you with these positive changes.
Perhaps it’s a small compliant about the time you’re spending exercising, or a joke about “another program”, or bringing chips and cookies into the house or his/her outright objection to the change you’re trying to make.
There is a spectrum of behaviours that you could classify as “unsupportive” but the result is the same – you feel your partner is not supportive or even sabotaging your efforts.
I get it. When I started making improvements to my eating and exercising after having my son, my husband Tim flat-out said my time away from home at the gym was a concern and that he thought I was on just another fleeting thing.
Yeah, it hurt. But at that moment I had a choice… keep the peace but remain unhappy, or do it anyway.
I did it anyway….
I went to the gym early in the morning to reduce the time I was away from my family and stuck-to a healthier eating plan that I included my family in.
Sure, it felt a bit lonely but there are some things worth doing one way or another. Health and happiness is one of those things.
As Tim saw my mood improve and as he adjusted to the changes I was making, his stance shifted.
He became my biggest supporter and has been for over a decade. Tim’s my best supporter and I feel blessed to have him in my corner!
How to Turn Your Spouse and Kids from Obstacles into Your Biggest Supporters:
1. COMMUNICATE – This is gold in marriage and relationships no matter the topic. Be clear, honest and open to receive what your spouse and children have to say on the topic. And remember, communication is both taking AND listening.
A great way to communicate about eating better is to put a “Meal Board” in your kitchen that clearly lays-out what is the plan for food this week. This alone can save many misunderstandings and gain support instantly.
Check out these meal board inspirations from my 60-Day Challenge program > https://www.sisinshape.com/5day-eat-better-program/meal-board-inspirations
2. BE CONSISTENT - You need to be consistent so that you can train others what are the new expectations. When you yo-yo, you confuse people and interject uncertainty into your spouse and partner’s life.
Be sure to find a program and way that you can be consistent with! Beware of the fads and gimmicks that aren’t sustainable. You hurt you and your household in this process too.
Put your big girl pants on – and show-up consistently even when you don’t feel like it. “This is the way I do it now” is best shown through your ACTIONS not just words.
3. EXPECT MORE of Your Spouse & Kids: Yes, expect MORE. People rise to your level of expectations. If you expect them not to be helpful, then they won’t be. If you don’t expect them to contribute, then they won’t.
The easiest way to do this is to be specific about what you want your partner/spouse and kids to do. For example, assign your spouse grocery shopping duty with a list you provide them.
For your kids, be clear about what you expect them to do independently in the morning so that you’re freed up to exercise and pack a healthy lunch for yourself too.
4. Have a CIRCLE OF SUPPORT Outside of Your Household - Girlfriends or a supportive like-minded community. You don’t need to go it alone but you also don’t need your spouse to be your everything. Lean on a circle of support for the positive changes you want to make.
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