Finding Confidence and Compassion in the Process
Tell us about yourself Jocelyn!
I have been active my entire life. I grew up playing sports, was a state-ranked cross-country runner in high school, and trained with the triathlon team at UCLA. I’d been lifting weights (shoutout to older brother Brandon!) for 14 years prior to working with Val and Sisters In Shape.
After graduating with my master’s, I moved to San Francisco to work in the tech startup scene. I tried to balance sedentary days by commuting by foot, but overall I wasn’t showing up for myself in the gym like I wanted. I had a weight training program that I’d been doing for years, but found it was easy to start skipping leg day or cut out extra reps and sets. Consequently, the results began to speak for themselves.
I was fed up with not being integrity with myself. Additionally, I was entering a period of life that was busy and I needed workouts that I didn’t have to think about.
Around the same time, I was considering a figure competition, which is what brought me to Coach Val.
I begin working with Val and Sisters In Shape in October 2018.
The app was great for tracking workouts and progress. I travel a lot and always prioritize finding a gym, but not having to think about creating workouts reduced decision fatigue. And while I have an active background, I needed a coach who was an expert in body fitness metabolism. I had unintentionally been damaging my metabolism for years, so I needed someone to trust, to ask questions. For me, that was Val. I remember at one point when she wanted to keep increasing my calories and I couldn’t understand how that was going to help me lean out during a time that I already felt “fluffy.” To my surprise, that’s what my body needed.
Over the year of working with SIS, I realized that my goal wasn’t to compete; I just wanted to be healthy happy fit and show up for myself daily.
My profession is as a leadership mindset coach, so I consult with organizations and private clients across the globe. In 2019, I never lived in one place for more than two months, and there were times I was moving from place to place every week. Since I traveled so extensively for work, as well as for my own curiosity’s sake, the online platform was perfect.
After experiencing two bouts of burnout in my life, I learned the hard way that I could only serve others to the extent that I took care of myself. For me a part of that is listening to what makes my body and heart happiest. Growing up closer to the mountains, I have a love for hiking and backpacking. When the winter approaches, my body has started to crave warmth and ocean. Dancing salsa, exploring cobblestone streets, and speaking Spanish also fill me with a lot of energy. Recently I was able to spend two months in Spain, then two in Mexico. In 2020, I’m looking to integrate my learnings from this past year, have more location consistency, and more public-facing teaching.
Any goals?
In terms of goals... For the first time in years, I am pretty at peace with my body physically, and more importantly, with myself internally. Also, after many years in competitive athletics and, quite frankly, insane training regimens… I don’t force myself to do anything that I don’t want to do. Rather, what I’m finding naturally is that my body wants to be in the sun in the morning for a run or a walk, and then my body wants to lift the gym later in the day. I don’t have to force it anymore; I just do what my body loves for the sake of physical and mental health.
What is something you live by?
I’ve come to recognize that if I’m not in a good headspace, I cannot be there for others.
No longer forcing my body to do things it doesn’t want to do has helped me to best show up for my own clients, my friends and family.
Much of my own practice and research has been around motivation. Research shows that change is more sustainable when we do it out of love rather than self-criticism. As a teacher of Mindful Self-Compassion, I recognize that kindness towards self is fierce and an acknowledgment of, “What do I really need in this moment AND long-term?” Once you get on-board with that definition of self-compassion, change comes easily. When you truly have your own best interest at heart, the decision to work out and eat well is. . . no longer a decision. It just is.
Do you have any advice for others?
Devote yourself to the process, not the results. Commit to showing up every day and see where that takes you.
The decision to do something good for yourself doesn’t need to come as a New Year’s resolution. Every single day you have the opportunity to turn the page and begin to write a new chapter. Fill the pages with moments of keeping promises to yourself. That’s how we build confidence and self-trust.
Don’t underestimate the effect of environmental stressors on your physique. Get to the bottom of things that may be raising cortisol levels. Your eating and training might be on point, but if you hate your work or home life, something’s gotta shift.
Commit to activities that you love! I loathe indoor treadmills and ellipticals. Zumba forever. ;)
Don’t change in order to find yourself more lovable. Love yourself so fiercely that you’re fueled to make positive change.
A note from Coach Val:
“Jocelyn’s transformation was truly internal. When she came to me, she wanted to change her body. I’m always open to helping people get healthy, strong, and lean, but in Jocelyn’s case, a lot of our conversations were more about self love. I wasn’t sure she could see what I was seeing. She was already strong, gorgeous, and healthy. I’m am so happy Jocelyn has arrived to this strong confident place personally.”
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